Bulimia, it’s not just for Christmas

Well… I have her back from the hospital and she’s mostly escaped from the alien . I say mostly because now I get to watch her measure everything out and go into a panic if she’s late for her meal or snack. I get it. I truly, truly get it. There’s the risk of binging if she gets hungry and binging leads to purging and that leads to binging…so to make sure it doesn’t happen, don’t get hungry.

BUT

it is so hard to watch your daughter fall apart because she’s out of the house and being out means not being in control of the meal preparation.

I want my daughter back. I want my family back. This damn thing has taken more than just my daughter. It’s inserted itself into the fibres of my family and ripped us apart. Meal times are horrendous. One child has to eat apart. One child is so scared of going down the same route that she’s cooking all of her own meals. The other two just watch with saucer like eyes, tears ready to spill because bulimia makes their sister vicious around meals. I’m so tired of being shredded by her tongue when it’s meal times. I know it’s not her but it is her .

I look ahead and I have no idea how we’re coming out the other side of this. I know people do. I meet people and they tell me that they have bulimia but it’s under control now and they all tell me they had bulimia like it’s some dark, dirty secret . They whisper it out of the corner of their mouths, they only tell me when there’s no one else to overhear.

Bulimia destroys lives and no one truly understands that. I’ve been told – at least it’s not anorexia. All she has to do is eat and not throw up.

Yes. It’s that simple.

As for at least it’s not anorexia? It’d be so much simpler if it were.The majority of the research is for anorexia. The treatment plans are based on treating anorexics. People understand anorexia a little better and have a bit more sympathy for people with anorexia nervosa.

And on a truly base, irrational note , at least anorexia doesn’t eat all the food in the house,  leaving everyone else hungry, and then throw it up. Bulimia nervosa is pointless. It’s destructive and it controls the lives of the people who develop it and their families for ever.

 

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